fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize