Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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