I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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