sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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