remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
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I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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