people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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