so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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