he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
