just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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