im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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