i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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