whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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