Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
