so that wasnt chicken after all
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
