Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
