come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
