i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.