She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
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Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life