Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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