i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....