oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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