Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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