Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
