he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
