I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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