ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
