are you so shy because you have an std?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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