Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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