I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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