I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
