Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
