You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize