Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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