you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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