we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize