when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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