id be glad to
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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