he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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