she was so not down for the gang bang
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize