The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
