thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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