i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
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It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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