so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
