We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
