theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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