i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
