oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
