I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
