omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
