Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
