I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
