A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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