I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
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btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize