just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
