but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
