Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Found the puke drawer
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize