But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
