Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
