google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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