I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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